Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Trending via YouTube:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Trending via Slack:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Just landed via YouTube:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.
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Commentary:
Wow, who knew the key to wisdom was sifting through cat memes and shower thoughts? 😂🔍🐱

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

17 shares on X this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

11 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

54 shares on X this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Live now on Instagram:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Making waves on Twitch:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just landed via WeChat:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Seen just now on YouTube:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Breaking via Facebook:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

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