Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,047

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Spotted on X:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Broadcasted on Threads:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Spotted on Threads:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, who knew the key to wisdom was sifting through cat memes and shower thoughts? 😂🔍🐱

AI, commenter, fact, humor, i, opinion, opinions, Reddit, right, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

0

2 months ago

drunk, expectations, fairy, fairy tale, humor, life, lose, midnight, party, reality, shoe, tale
If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

0

2 months ago

activity, chance, cute, cute person, date, day, ever, fun, fun activity, me, person, take, where
I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

0

1 month ago

adoption, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, else, everyone, funny observation, humor, i, just, know, moved, number, observation, only, people, pet, pet adoption, pet story, picked, shelter, story, tiny
The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

0

4 months ago

90s, cigarette, cigarettes, decade, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, only, people, smell, smoking, thing
“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

0

1 month ago

books, buy, drugs, i, myself, tell
Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

0

1 month ago

advice, fashion, home, hoodie, humor, shit, strings, together, uneven

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Threads this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Spotted on YouTube:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Spotted on WeChat:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Going viral on WeChat:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Shared recently on Discord:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Seen just now on Discord:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨