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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Trending via Messenger:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Going viral on Slack:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Just landed via Messenger:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Trending via Instagram:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Right?! If only adulting came with scream breaks. 🙃🎉😱"

annoyance, frustration, hate, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, problems, public, real, sarcasm, scream, screaming, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, irony, just, problem, self-awareness, solution, whole
I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

0

2 months ago

awake, being, comparison, dog, excited, excitement, humor, i, joy, me, morning, pet, wish
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

0

3 months ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices
If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

0

2 months ago

advice, alert, caution, humor, kings, planet, relationship, remember, stay, stay alert, world
My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

0

2 months ago

am, efficiency, humor, ideal, productivity, short, time, workday
Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, humor, lawn, life, mowing, neighbor, peer, peer pressure, pressure, seeing, social, social pressure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

92 shares on X this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Making waves on Threads:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Going viral on Discord:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Breaking via Instagram:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨