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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Making waves on Instagram:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Making waves on TikTok:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Making waves on WeChat:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Breaking via Threads:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just landed via X:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finding fellow Spongebob speakers is like discovering a secret society of giggles under the sea! 🐠🤣🌊

communication, fandom, fluency, humor, i, love, people, reference, references, Spongebob

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

0

2 months ago

anxiety, brain, brains, humor, panic, relax, something, stress, Sunday, want, weekend, weird
Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

0

3 months ago

apology, busy, emotion, excuse, humor, i, personal, sarcasm, sorry, taking, things, tonight
How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, downtime, follow, great, humor, laziness, nothing, relaxation, rest
Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coke, crisp, diet, Diet Coke, drink, humor, i, moan, refreshment, soda
The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, fortune telling, humor, lady, me, media, miss, said, social, social media, tarot, telling, TikTok
I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, comedy, culture, cyrus, hannibal, Hannibal Montannibal, humor, i, lambs, miley, Miley Cyrus, montannibal, movie, movie remake, parody, playing, pop, pop culture, read, remake, silence, Silence of the Lambs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

42 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Going viral on Threads:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Going viral on Slack:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Going bananas on Slack:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Going viral on Facebook:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Making waves on Telegram:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨