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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Just landed via Slack:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Just landed via Discord:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Going viral on Slack:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Trending via TikTok:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Just landed via Pinterest:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Spotted on Twitch:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Seen just now on Threads:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Going bananas on Telegram:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

I love when the plot thickens.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about enjoying complicated situations with a witty twist.

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Commentary:
When the plot thickens, just remember to stir occasionally so it doesn't burn! 🍲📖

humor, i, love, phrase, plot, thickening

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

37 shares on Threads this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

66 shares on YouTube this month:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Just landed via Telegram:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Making waves on Slack:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Making waves on Threads:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Live now on Pinterest:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when the plot thickens.

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when the plot thickens.

Keep the laugh going 😂

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨