I love when the plot thickens.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Come on, karma, do your job.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

38 shares on X this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.