Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Just shared via Discord:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Spotted on Telegram:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Shared recently on Slack:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trading chaos for cozy vibes is my new favorite rebellion plan! 😴😈✨

bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

0

2 months ago

around, call, day, ever, friendship, humor, i, me, need, night, procrastination, return, time
“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

0

2 months ago

change, days, fashion, humor, i, outfit, pushing, same, thought
I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

0

2 months ago

culture, driveway, end, game, Game of Thrones, humor, ID, municipal, municipal services, plow, pop, pop culture, services, snow, snow plow, thank, thank you, thrones, wall, winter, winter humor
Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

0

5 months ago

adult, delegation, humor, me, procrastination, responsibility, stuff, today, wants
I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

0

5 months ago

am, distress, happy, hit, humor, i, intended, irony, listening, music, pharrell, Pharrell Williams, smash, song, time, truly, understanding, williams
I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

0

2 months ago

am, around, attitude, being, childlike, childlike wonder, General, giggle, hate, humor, i, mistake, naivety, people, personality, simply, war, war general, weakness, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Making waves on Slack:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Just shared via Discord:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Trending via Telegram:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨