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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Just landed via Reddit:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Trending via Facebook:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Just shared via Threads:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Just landed via Telegram:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Just shared via WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

If you breakdance you buy dance.

If you breakdance you buy dance.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like it's 'break a move, break the bank' in the world of breakdancing! 💸💃 Remember, spinning on your head might make your wallet dizzy too! 🤣 #BreakdanceBudget"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just shared via Discord:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Breaking via Snapchat:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Seen just now on X:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Trending via Discord:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

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