Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Going viral on X:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Live now on Slack:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Just landed via Facebook:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just shared via WeChat:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure thing! "Just one simple request: can you make my coffee unspillable? 😂☕️"

anything, assistance, complaint, customer, customer service, else, frustration, humor, i, just, me, sarcasm, service, thanks, thing, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

2 months ago

body, body crack, body joke, chiropractor, crack, glow, glow stick, humor, i, joke, playful, relaxation, relief, stick, stress, stress relief, want
Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

2 months ago

attitude, humor, hydrated, hydration, just, kill, laugh, let, little, motivation, much, people, positivity, reminder, self-care, stay, vibe
You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

5 months ago

analogy, cartoon, cartoons, chicken, chicken leg, feeling, feels, friend, friends, humor, hunger, hungry, leg, looking, ovulation, start
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

1 month ago

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack
I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

2 months ago

communication, good, humor, i, love, phrase, sarcasm, saying, shit, sounds, work
Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

2 months ago

conversation, fun, just, media, reply, self-talk, social, social media, someone, sometimes, talk, Twitter, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

97 shares on Slack this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Spotted on WeChat:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spotted on X:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Going viral on Messenger:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Trending via WeChat:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨