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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Just landed via Telegram:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Spotted on Messenger:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Trending via Instagram:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Going viral on Facebook:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I got a free upgrade to the penthouse of despair! 😅🏢🔦

basement, bottom, found, humor, just, life, metaphor, rock, rock bottom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, overhear, please, sarcasm, social, something, trying, witty
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

0

2 months ago

anger, anyone, fast, fast food, food, food order, frustration, humor, i, order, over, personality, reaction, trust
It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, humor, order, pretend, rest, sleep, sleeping, weird
A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

0

3 days ago

degree, Dothraki, education, fantasy, fantasy language, humor, international, international law, joke, language, law, real
Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

0

1 month ago

apart, argument, conflict, drama, exaggeration, family, humor, me, saying, someone, tearing, whenever
I’m ready to try another planet.

0

2 months ago

adventure, another, exploration, humor, planet, ready, space, travel, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

34 shares on X this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

77 shares on X this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Trending via Reddit:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Going viral on Reddit:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Freshly posted on X:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Spotted on WeChat:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite color is money.

Shared recently on Threads:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

I’m ready to try another planet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨