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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Trending via Pinterest:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Breaking via Messenger:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Breaking via Twitch:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Going viral on YouTube:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Making waves on X:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when knee cracks weren't part of my morning routine! 😂🔋⚡

childhood, energy, favorite, favorite memory, having, humor, memory

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

0

2 months ago

choices, food, fridge, heart, humor, hunger, i, journey, love, me
Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

0

6 months ago

food, humor, over, personality, plate, real, sharing, someone, take
“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

0

2 months ago

back, boy, dating, flirting, humor, joke, life, me, ovary, perimenopause, woman
Weddings should have a worst man.

0

2 months ago

event, funny opinion, humor, man, marriage, opinion, should, tradition, wedding, worst, worst man
Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

0

2 months ago

attract, attraction, humor, opposites, relationship, undress
I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

0

2 months ago

craving, decision, food, fridge, heart, humor, humorist, i, led, me, procrastination, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Just shared via WeChat:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Breaking via Reddit:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Shared recently on X:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Just shared via Slack:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Making waves on X:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Live now on Threads:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Weddings should have a worst man.

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨