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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Making waves on WeChat:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Going viral on Threads:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Freshly posted on X:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Just shared via Facebook:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

11 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about avoiding crowds, humorously expressing a preference for home over long lines.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life motto: Ain't nobody got time for queues longer than my attention span! 🏃‍♂️💨 #QueueExitStrategy"

6, avoidance, home, humor, i, life, people, queue, simple, simplicity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Relationship status: I love my bed.

2 days ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, priorities, relationship, sleep, status
Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

2 days ago

hard, humor, motivation, never, perseverance, quit, too
Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

3 days ago

alien, aliens, emotion, emotional, friendship, humor, nostalgia, Pixar, story, thinking, toy, Toy Story
There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

5 hours ago

commentary, country, diversity, every, humor, multicultural, people, satire, should, social, social commentary, zoo
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

1 week ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

3 months ago

bed, commute, distance, frustration, humor, i, longing, miss, sleep, where, why, work

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

57 shares on X this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

50 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Going viral on Facebook:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨