Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Just landed via Discord:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life motto: Ain't nobody got time for queues longer than my attention span! 🏃‍♂️💨 #QueueExitStrategy"

6, avoidance, home, humor, i, life, people, queue, simple, simplicity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

0

2 months ago

activity, communication, couple, couples, couples therapy, dating, funny activity, humor, joke, know, looking, notice, relationship, relationship humor, someone, take, therapist, therapy, therapy joke
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

0

2 months ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

0

2 months ago

advice, clothes, experience, food, humor, hungry, me, naked, shopping, should, trust
Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

0

2 months ago

abyss, being, effectiveness, existential, frustration, honesty, humor, humor quote, lost, screaming
Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

0

5 months ago

actually, animal, easy, flirting, gif, humor, playful, playful teasing, say, send, small, small animal, submissive, teasing
Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, all nighter, humor, i, means, night, pee, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

86 shares on X this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Shared recently on Slack:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Just shared via Facebook:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Spotted on TikTok:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Shared recently on YouTube:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨