Wordgag πŸŽ…

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has copied:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, β€œDo you ski?”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,965

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Just landed via YouTube:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Trending via WeChat:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Just landed via Telegram:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Making waves on WeChat:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

My mom is asking each ornament, β€œWhere do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

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My mom is asking each ornament, β€œWhere do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.
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Commentary:
Looks like even the ornaments get a say in their housing situation! πŸŽ„πŸ˜‚πŸ 

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on X this month:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

37 shares on X this month:

β€œYou’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, β€œIsn’t face-to-face better?”

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Anti-capitalism is just code for β€œI don’t know how anything works.”

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, β€œDid I take this already?”

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,967

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like β€œhmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has shared:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WeChat:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like β€œOk, can I bring my gardener?”

Shared recently on Threads:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I be like β€œcommunication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Making waves on Facebook:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Seen just now on Discord:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Trending via YouTube:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Breaking via X:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Trending via Reddit:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

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