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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Spotted on Discord:

Earth is hard.

Going viral on Threads:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just landed via Twitch:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Shared recently on Slack:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Trending via TikTok:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about life's lessons, featuring witty words on a playful background.

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Commentary:
Mastering the art of facepalming, one lesson at a time! 🤦‍♂️📚😂

always, hard, hard way, humor, improvement, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, mistake, move, self, self-improvement, signature, signature move

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

21 shares on X this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Breaking via Twitch:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Going viral on Slack:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Spotted on YouTube:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

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Activity Log ✨

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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