Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.
  • Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.
  • If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.
  • Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.
  • The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.