Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Spotted on Twitch:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Shared recently on X:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Just landed via TikTok:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Trending via Discord:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Trending via Threads:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Spotted on Facebook:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

0
Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Those tater tots better watch out, looks like trouble ahead! 🥔😄 Stay crispy, little tots!"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Threads this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

37 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Live now on Discord:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴