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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyoneโ€™s tired here.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

My New Yearโ€™s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that Iโ€™m used to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Jeez. Itโ€™s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,958

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,958

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Threads:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Breaking via TikTok:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Just landed via Slack:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Making waves on Instagram:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other peopleโ€™s content and nodding?

Reported on TikTok:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes donโ€™t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I canโ€™t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say โ€œwhatโ€™s for dinner? I donโ€™t like that. Can you give me money for McDonaldโ€™s?โ€

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Trending via Facebook:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.
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Commentary:
Guess Iโ€™ll just warm up to the idea of eating it! ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ˜‚

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,958

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,958

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

I canโ€™t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when Iโ€™m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Still canโ€™t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Right now somebodyโ€™s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Snapchat:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Live now on X:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Stretching my back isnโ€™t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Iโ€™m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Making waves on Discord:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

“Itโ€™s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Trending via Messenger:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Trending via Telegram:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

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