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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Spotted on Messenger:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Live now on TikTok:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Making waves on WeChat:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Just shared via X:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Just shared via X:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Seen just now on Threads:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about disliking frozen pizza for being too cold, playful and humorous.

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Commentary:
Guess I’ll just warm up to the idea of eating it! 🍕😂

cold, fan, food, food preference, frozen, frozen pizza, humor, joke, opinion, pizza, preference, too

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81 shares on WeChat this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

30 shares on X this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Spotted on Telegram:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Making waves on Instagram:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Just landed via Threads:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Going bananas on YouTube:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Breaking via Slack:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Spotted on X:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

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Activity Log ✨

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨