Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just shared via Instagram:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about disliking frozen pizza for being too cold, playful and humorous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I’ll just warm up to the idea of eating it! 🍕😂

cold, fan, food, food preference, frozen, frozen pizza, humor, joke, opinion, pizza, preference, too

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

100 shares on Slack this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Just shared via Instagram:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Making waves on Facebook:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Making waves on Reddit:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨