Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Trending via Telegram:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Spotted on X:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Breaking via X:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Going bananas on X:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Spotted on Discord:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Going viral on TikTok:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.
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Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

94 shares on X this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

90 shares on Slack this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Trending via Messenger:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Making waves on Facebook:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Going viral on Discord:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Shared recently on X:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Live now on YouTube:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

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