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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Making waves on Reddit:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Trending via Discord:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Witty text about exhaustion and pretending to stay alert, with a humorous, relatable vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs coffee when you're a master of the 'awake but actually half asleep' act? 😴☕️ Keep up the Oscar-worthy performance, darling! 💁‍♂️😄 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

15 shares on TikTok this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Just landed via TikTok:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Freshly posted on X:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Seen just now on Slack:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Trending via Discord:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Live now on Messenger:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Spotted on Reddit:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

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