Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.