Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs coffee when you're a master of the 'awake but actually half asleep' act? 😴☕️ Keep up the Oscar-worthy performance, darling! 💁‍♂️😄 #TheStruggleIsReal"

awake, course, daily, daily life, exhaustion, hard, humor, i, irony, life, pretending, sarcasm, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

0

2 months ago

algorithm, i, much, scrolling, snack
I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

0

2 months ago

clueless, confusion, going, happening, humor, humor quote, i, idea, ignorance, irony, know, sarcasm
Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

0

2 months ago

bush, deforestation, euphemism, gardening, humor, trimming, wordplay
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

0

2 months ago

experience, fun, good, humor, love, meaningless, pretty, relationships, sex
The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

0

3 weeks ago

humor, internet, irony, making, me, people, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity
Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

0

2 months ago

calendar, creativity, humor, joke, madvent, madvent calendar, menstruation, period, period tracker, tracker, tracking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Breaking via Instagram:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Trending via Pinterest:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Seen just now on Discord:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨