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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning 30 is like hitting the reset button: aging in reverse like a fine wine or a Benjamin Button in training! 🍷🔄🎉

27, 30, age, aging, birthday, ever, humor, just, life, old, only, turn, younger, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

0

4 weeks ago

babe, communication, humor, manic, manic thought, media, relationship, social, social media, thought, thoughts, today, tweet, wrong
I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

0

2 months ago

50th, 60th, apocalypse, context, exaggeration, feel, feeling, horseman, humor, i
My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

0

4 months ago

airport, early, humor, never, punctuality, talking, timing, travel
I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad luck, belief, humor, irony, luck, superstitious
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

0

2 months ago

50, coping, coping mechanism, cursing, humor, mechanism, pain, psychology, relief, self-injury

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Discord this month:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

98 shares on Threads this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

89 shares on X this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Just shared via Instagram:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Spotted on Slack:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Live now on Discord:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Shared recently on Slack:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Trending via Messenger:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨