Commentary:
Tiramisu should be a daily requirement in life's food pyramid! 🍰🤔 Why is the universe so stingy with the good stuff? 😂
Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.
Commentary:
I’ll bring the sacrificial snacks! 🍕😂🔮
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝
Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.
Commentary:
Why do battles always happen at bedtime? 🛌💥🧠🤯
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?
Commentary:
Who knew hay had such sharp fashion sense? 🐴🧵😂
When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.
Commentary:
In your 20s, the real family drama is deciding whether it's Tony Soprano or laundry day that gets your attention first 📺🧺 #Priorities
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.
Commentary:
Keeping my inner villain sharp one reminder at a time! 😈✨
If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.
Commentary:
When war meets Instagram: Mission accomplished, but first, let's get that perfect moody shot. 📸😎💣
Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.
Commentary:
The floor was nice, but this chair feels like a VIP upgrade! 😂🪑🎉
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.
Commentary:
Dreaming of a nap on a pizza roll mattress, but I might eat my bed! 😴🍕