Commentary:
Transforming into my own walking romance novel, starring me, myself, and I! 💃💕📚
If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.
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Looks like bacon isn't the only thing getting crispy here! 🇺🇸🥓😄
Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.
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When I ghost, it's called 'invisible charisma' 👻😎✨
The art of letting whoever think whatever.
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Mastering the ancient art of "It is what it is" with a black belt in not giving a hoot! 🎨🦉✨
I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.
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Too young for the early bird special, too old to understand TikTok trends 🎣🕺😅
The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all slacking on our ocean-draining duties 😂🌊🚰
They’re making me get out of bed.
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"Why walk when you can sarcastically roll towards adulthood? 😴😂🛌"
Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.
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In today’s episode of "I need stronger coffee," introducing Espresso Shotgun! 💥☕😁
I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.
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Trying to decide between teenage angst and early bird specials! 😅🕒👟
Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.
Commentary:
When your day took a gap year and never came back 😂🕒📅