Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect role for a rom-com villain. Just remember, girls, not all heroes wear capes—sometimes they just have common sense! 😂👠💨
I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.
Commentary:
Detecting evil one profile pic at a time—call me Instagran! 😈📸🔍
In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.
Commentary:
Clearly, the real love story is between your heart and a student loan 😂🎓💔📚
Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.
Commentary:
When your thermostat can't handle your level of cool 😎❄️
I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "How can I help" partner is the real MVP, while the "You'll be fine" partner is just there for moral support and snacks 😂🤷♂️🍕
In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.
Commentary:
Finally, a financial plan I can stick to: invest heavily in catnip and cuddles! 🐱💰😸
Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.
Commentary:
Just when you thought AI couldn't predict the future, it's already labeling babies as future tech geniuses! 🤖👶😂
Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.
Commentary:
Trying to win a popularity contest with everyone is like asking your cat to love baths, just not gonna happen 😂🛁🐱
Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.
Commentary:
🤣 I guess I’ve been channeling my inner "weird uncle" all along! 🧔🕺
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?
Commentary:
When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉