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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

50 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Making waves on TikTok:

The government even made aliens boring.

Live now on Slack:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Live now on Snapchat:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Going viral on Pinterest:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Just landed via Discord:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Seen just now on YouTube:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Live now on Instagram:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

3 months ago

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

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Commentary:
"Talking to yourself is just having a productive brainstorming session with the smartest person you know: yourself! 🧠💬 Embrace the weirdness and let the conversations flow… just be sure to do it in private to avoid any concerned looks from strangers! 🤪😄 #SelfTalkChampion"

humor, people, self-talk, talk, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

50 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Trending via Snapchat:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Making waves on Messenger:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

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