Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Shared recently on Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on Telegram:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Spotted on Messenger:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Going bananas on WeChat:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Just shared via Slack:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Math and I had a 'complicated' relationship, so now it's just 'subtracting' from my life! 😂➖📚"

avoidance, comedy, disinterest, ever, humor, math, me, moved, please, reluctance, speak, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

0

2 months ago

angelo, bad, chapel, feel, humor, michael, Michael Angelo, motivation, perseverance, success, try
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

0

3 days ago

am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want
The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

0

2 months ago

day, frustration, handed, humor, i, impatience, joke, left, patience, sarcasm, taking, too, waiting
You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

0

2 months ago

girl, heart, humor, love, man, picture, relationship
That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

0

2 months ago

compliment, flirtation, humor, kind, little, playful, quirky, sexy, weird
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, deodorant, humor, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, need, never, people, self-awareness, sense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

78 shares on Threads this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

55 shares on Slack this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Shared recently on Instagram:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Spotted on Reddit:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Making waves on Twitch:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Just landed via Reddit:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Making waves on Telegram:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨