Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Going viral on Facebook:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Going viral on Twitch:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Just landed via Threads:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When spelling bees are the real rap battles now 😂🎤📚

being, criticism, hip, hip-hop, hop, humor, joke, literacy, music, rap, stopped, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

0

2 months ago

comedy, fart, fart joke, holding, holding in, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh
Being weird never goes out of style.

0

2 months ago

being, fashion, humor, individuality, never, personality, style, uniqueness, weird
Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

0

2 months ago

day, end, end of day, frustration, humor, impatience, joke, left, much, patience, sarcasm, time, why
I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

0

2 months ago

air, bag, chip, chips, company, enough, humor, i, joke, kind, little, parody, playful, potato, potato chip, put, satire, snack, snack humor, today, well
All the clouds have come out to play today.

0

3 months ago

activity, cloud, clouds, fun, outdoor, outdoor activity, play, sky, today, weather
“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

0

6 months ago

chores, dish, dishes, dishwashing, humor, myth, pun, Sisyphus

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Facebook this month:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

44 shares on X this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

94 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Just shared via Telegram:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Just shared via Twitch:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Just shared via Reddit:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Being weird never goes out of style.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

All the clouds have come out to play today.

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨