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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Freshly posted on X:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Trending via Reddit:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When spelling bees are the real rap battles now 😂🎤📚

being, criticism, hip, hip-hop, hop, humor, joke, literacy, music, rap, stopped, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

0

2 months ago

anyone, brush, care, else, humor, hygiene, just, little, me, multitasking, personal, personal care, routine, shower, teeth, toothbrush
Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, humor, media, own, pass, procrastination, social, social media, time
Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

0

4 months ago

around, confusion, even, ever, humor, mind, overthinking, self-reflection, sitting, thinking, why, wonder
I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

0

2 months ago

analogy, avocado, food, fruit, humor, i, impatience, patience, ripe
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

0

2 months ago

care, chew, dental, dental care, dental plan, guess, humor, i, joke, just, mouth, plan, side
I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

0

2 months ago

change, confidence, decision, different, every, growth, humor, i, life, life decision, life plan, need, personal, personal growth, plan, realize, self-awareness, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Making waves on WeChat:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Just landed via Facebook:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Spotted on Discord:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Trending via Threads:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨