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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Just landed via Discord:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Going viral on Twitch:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Just landed via Facebook:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Making waves on Slack:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Going viral on Threads:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone put their cereal before their sense of order! 🥣🥛😂

before, breakfast, cereal, humor, meant, milk, mistake, morning, morning routine, relationship, routine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

2 months ago

articulate, communication, humor, just, sexting, sound, texting, vampire
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

2 months ago

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep
A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, chocolate, holiday, humor, i, indulgence, restraint, sweets, temptation, test
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

2 months ago

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

2 months ago

aunt, communication, cousin, died, family, gossip, humorous, humorous observation, husband, just, know, mom, neighbor, neighbors, observation, should, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

100 shares on Discord this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Breaking via Messenger:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Live now on Pinterest:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Spotted on Discord:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Just landed via Reddit:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Just shared via Slack:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨