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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Making waves on X:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Just shared via YouTube:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Spotted on Messenger:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Live now on X:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Just shared via Telegram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Just shared via Slack:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Spotted on X:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life could be like a never-ending pizza party instead of a rollercoaster in a haunted house 🎢🍕👻

back, humor, imagination, imagine, irony, life, nightmare, perspective, sit, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, Instagram, just, media, outdoors, outside, people, social, social media, Twitter
One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing fact, basketball, fact, fit, hoop, humor, nature, observation, perfect, perfect fit, size, sports, things
Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, course, exercise, fitness, humor, i, problems, running
This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

0

2 months ago

actually, back, Back to the Future, biff, Biff Tannen, comparison, future, humor, movie, movie reference, reference, tannen, worse, worst
Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, dream, food, fridge, funny idea, humor, i, idea, ketchup, open, own, packets, restaurant, saving
The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

0

2 months ago

figure, health, humor, important, intelligence, irony, less, mental, mental health, self-awareness, smarter, think, thinking, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

91 shares on Threads this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

36 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

12 shares on Threads this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Just shared via YouTube:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Trending via Telegram:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Spotted on TikTok:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Spotted on Telegram:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨