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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Breaking via Facebook:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Seen just now on Twitch:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just landed via Threads:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

0
Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.
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Commentary:
Oh, the melodrama of abandoned shopping carts! 🛒🎶 Maybe Taylor Swift could serenade us with a ballad about the heartbreak of seeing carts left astray, a real chart-topper in the making! 😂 Who knew grocery store etiquette could inspire such lyrical genius?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

84 shares on X this month:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

91 shares on Threads this month:

When did making sense stop making sense?

38 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more trips planned than I have money.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Just shared via WeChat:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Going bananas on Slack:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Spotted on Slack:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

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