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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Just shared via Discord:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Making waves on Twitch:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Trending via Threads:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Just shared via TikTok:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

0
“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.
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Commentary:
Trying my best to look interested while my brain is on a coffee break. ☕😴📡

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

63 shares on TikTok this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

43 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am cassette tape years old.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of things costing money.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Live now on Discord:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

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