Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Breaking via Facebook:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Making waves on X:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Trending via Instagram:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Going viral on Discord:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I might need a sidekick called 'Adult Supervision Man' to keep me out of trouble! 😂🦸‍♂️🔍

comparison, difference, humor, i, joke, me, need, super, super vision, superman, supervision, vision, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

0

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid calls, bill, bill collector, calls, collector, funny advice, humor, phone, phone bill
My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, bathroom, bathroom humor, expression, face, funny expression, hours, humor, moments, pee, pee face, relatable, relatable moments, same, sex, sex face, situations
There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

0

6 months ago

another, culture, dance, gangnam, Gangnam Style, humor, music, only, peace, pop, pop culture, song, style, viral, viral song, world, world peace
Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

0

2 months ago

before, dreaming, imagination, imagine, people, sleep, sleeping, stuff, want
I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

0

2 months ago

advice, bossy, confidence, doing, exactly, humor, i, just, know, leadership
Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

0

2 months ago

90s, adulting, affordability, affordable, feel, humor, i, nostalgia, scam

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

63 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

70 shares on Discord this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on Telegram:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Making waves on WeChat:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Trending via Twitch:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Going viral on Discord:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Going viral on Twitch:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨