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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has shared:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has copied:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has copied:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has copied:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Going viral on Instagram:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the β€œfor myself” is silent.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Trending via Instagram:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Live now on Telegram:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Spotted on Facebook:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Trending via Messenger:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Witty quote highlighting humorous difference between Superman's vision and needing supervision.
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Commentary:
Looks like I might need a sidekick called 'Adult Supervision Man' to keep me out of trouble! πŸ˜‚πŸ¦Έβ€β™‚οΈπŸ”

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I’m bringing back β€œholy moly” and nobody can stop me.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

62 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

34 shares on X this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like β€œyour top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has shared:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Making waves on Instagram:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Going viral on X:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Just shared via Slack:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Going viral on Telegram:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Just shared via Telegram:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

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