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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Seen just now on X:

The world started without permission again.

Spotted on X:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via X:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Trending via YouTube:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs likes when you're the king of the jungle? 🦁👑😂

animal, animal metaphor, concern, confidence, humor, independence, lion, metaphor, proof, social, social proof

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

0

2 months ago

18th, 18th century, casual, century, devotion, eternal, fall, i, love, relationship, vampire
You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

0

2 months ago

act, around, beauty, beauty product, calm, confidence, cool, cosmetics, eyeliner, fear, humor, liquid, makeup, product, sense
I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, me, news, sarcasm, slap, smart, technology, turn, TV
If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

29 shares on X this month:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

53 shares on Slack this month:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Live now on Instagram:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Shared recently on X:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨