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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Live now on TikTok:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Making waves on YouTube:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Spotted on Telegram:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Trending via Pinterest:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Just shared via Telegram:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Making waves on Discord:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Making waves on WeChat:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic social media paradox: more fame, more stress, and more need for caffeine! ☕📱😅

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

2 months ago

decision, due, humor, personal, personal reason, problem, reason, reasons
Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

5 months ago

advice, avoid, break, couple, days, fun, news, pro, pro-tip, relaxation, tip
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

2 months ago

affection, feelings, grudge, hold, holding, humor, irony, me, relationship, tight
Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

2 months ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while
How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

2 months ago

able, direct, handle, humor, irony, nature, outside, plant, sunlight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

69 shares on Threads this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

84 shares on Slack this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Just landed via YouTube:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨