Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Trending via YouTube:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Just landed via Instagram:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic social media paradox: more fame, more stress, and more need for caffeine! ☕📱😅

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, awkward, behavior, found, humor, imagine, pet, phone, picture, pictures, privacy, sleeping
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

2 months ago

behavior, dehumanizing, eat, eating, food, humor, men, nothing, relationship, short, single
People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

2 months ago

crowd, grocery, grocery store, humor, impatience, me, people, same, shopping, store, time
You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

1 month ago

baddie, forbid, man, media, posting, real, social, social media, tried
It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

2 months ago

brain, brains, cognition, forgetfulness, funny observation, humor, irony, memory, observation, remember, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

50 shares on Slack this month:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

94 shares on Discord this month:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

58 shares on Threads this month:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

86 shares on Slack this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Spotted on Telegram:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Shared recently on Slack:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Trending via YouTube:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Just shared via TikTok:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨