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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Breaking via Twitch:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Shared recently on X:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Shared recently on Threads:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Seen just now on Slack:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Going viral on Messenger:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

The only men you can trust is ramen.

2 months ago

0

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ramen noodles: the true unsung heroes of the gastronomic world 🍜💪 Who needs a knight in shining armor when you've got a steaming bowl of savory noodles to rely on? Trust in the power of ramen to never disappoint you (or maybe just until your next meal) 😉 #RamenIsBae"

food, humor, men, ramen, relationship, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

0

2 months ago

Dracula, humor, i, just, skepticism, something, trust, vampire
Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

0

2 months ago

asking, babe, being, binge-watching, every, hours, humor, loneliness, me, Netflix, only, relationship, reminder, self-care, shoutout, still, streaming, thank, watching
I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

0

2 months ago

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

0

5 months ago

attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait
The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

0

2 months ago

animal, conspiracy, coo, government, humor, overthrow, pigeon, plot, plotting, satire, start
Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

0

2 months ago

asked, attitude, frustration, humor, i, me, motivation, rebellious, reluctance, sarcasm, teen, teenager, teens, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The shitshow must go on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a little freak is my love language.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just landed via WeChat:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

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