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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Going viral on Telegram:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Spotted on Discord:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Going viral on Threads:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Seen just now on X:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Live now on YouTube:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Making waves on Twitch:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Trending via Twitch:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

8 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I hope your grin is permanent 😂🖊️

face, humor, only, put, sarcasm, Sharpie, smile, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

2 months ago

attitude, casual, good, humor, know, man, music, music taste, playlist, relaxed, relaxed attitude, sounds, taste
Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

2 months ago

humor, intelligence, IQ, only, psychology, therapist, therapy, works
Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

2 months ago

attention, attention span, comedy, confusion, distraction, forgetfulness, humor, i, span, wait, wit
I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

2 months ago

disrespect, early, humor, i, sleep, waking, waking up, weekend
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

6 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, never, parenting, spoiler, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Making waves on YouTube:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Trending via Twitch:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Spotted on Threads:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Making waves on X:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨