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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Spotted on Threads:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Seen just now on X:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Making waves on Instagram:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Seen just now on Instagram:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

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The problem with salad is, it’s salad.
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Commentary:
Salad: nature's way of reminding us that not all greens are as exciting as dollar bills 🥗💸😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

90 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,972

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Just landed via Facebook:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

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