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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Going viral on YouTube:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Trending via Twitch:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Making waves on WeChat:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I've got a one-way ticket! 😈👀🔥

going, hell, humor, invisible, joke, media, only, post, secret, social, social media, spooky

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

0

2 months ago

confidence, else, enough, humble, i, individuality, know, me, nobody, replace, self-awareness, unique, wise
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

comedy, commit, crime, crime evidence, detective, DNA, everywhere, evidence, forensic, hair, humor, i, joke, leave, me, never, self-deprecating
The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

0

2 months ago

dollars, even, guess, humor, i, joke, me, money, photo, police, radar, ticket
You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

0

2 months ago

bad, compliment, ever, humor, interaction, know, met, people, person, personality, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling
Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

0

5 months ago

bathroom, centaur, creature, difficulty, humor, hygiene, mythical, mythical creature, wipe
Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

0

2 months ago

communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

75 shares on X this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Trending via WeChat:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Live now on Telegram:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Breaking via Messenger:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Going viral on Messenger:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Shared recently on X:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨