Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Seen just now on Discord:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Just shared via Slack:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Just shared via Threads:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Just landed via Telegram:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Soul merger approved! 🚀🌀 Let's get this weird party started! 🎉👽

connection, humor, me, merge, merge soul, quirky, relationship, soul, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell
“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

0

2 months ago

check, confidence, humor, i, life, mirror, myself, self-quote, sunglasses, thug, thug life, whisper
Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

0

4 months ago

compliment, everyone, here, hot, hot person, humor, interaction, nice, person, sarcasm, social, social interaction
A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

0

4 weeks ago

dinosaur, humor, people, people problem, pet, problem, problems, solve
Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

0

2 months ago

communication, concern, email, emails, humor, sarcasm, today, work
I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

0

2 months ago

butter, care, counting, data, eaten, English, English muffin, food, humor, i, life, muffin, peanut, peanut butter, personal, personal data, screen, stats, things, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

100 shares on X this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Going viral on Instagram:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Making waves on Instagram:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Trending via Snapchat:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just shared via Reddit:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Going viral on X:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Live now on Messenger:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨