Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

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Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

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Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

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Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

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As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

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I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

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Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

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I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

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New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

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Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

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I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.