Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Making waves on YouTube:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Live now on Threads:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Suddenly, we've all got a sequel called "I Carried a Bag of Groceries" lined up for the doctor's office! 🍉🩺🤣

age, aging, aging humor, comedy, culture, gone, humor, i, middle, middle age, movie, movie quote, orthopedist, pop, pop culture, something, tell, watermelon, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

5 months ago
communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity
Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

1 month ago
advice, bang, headache, humor, injury, pain, pro-tip, something, toe
Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

1 month ago
account, adulthood, adulting, budgeting, day, days, finance, financial, financial struggle, humor, later, money, money transfer, myself, personal, personal finance, relatable, save, savings, savings account, struggle, three, transfer, wild
“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

3 months ago
change, conversation, entertainment, humor, i, joke, movie, new
I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

4 months ago
cozy, fort, friendship, humor, ID, invitation, pillow, pillow fort, room
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

1 month ago
black, exercise, fashion, fitness, humor, i, joke, slimming, style, wear

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Making waves on Twitch:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Going viral on Instagram:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Making waves on X:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Making waves on Slack:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏