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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just shared via YouTube:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Going viral on Facebook:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Trending via Facebook:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Going bananas on Threads:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Just landed via YouTube:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
After all these years, looks like the chat app finally got a breather! 😂🤐📢

communication, decade, decades, exhaustion, humor, i, run, say, speech, things, time, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

0

2 months ago

bed, dance, energy, evening, fun, humor, lunchtime, morning, routine, tired
If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

0

5 months ago

business, business failure, chain, Domino’s, ever, failure, feel, food, food industry, humor, industry, Italy, just, marketing, open, pizza, remember, tried
So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

0

2 months ago

actual, call, channel, checker, create, fact, fact checker, facts, give, humor, information, just, know, media, news, sarcasm, truth, TV, TV channel, us, where, why
My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite type, find out, gender, gender reveal, i, just, me, party, reveal, tell, tell me, type, where
Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

0

6 months ago

50s, coffee, hangover, happy, happy hour, hour, morning, mornings, new, welcome, where
Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

0

2 months ago

eating, food, humor, i, labels, nutrition, section, thing, whole, whole thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

48 shares on X this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

78 shares on Discord this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

44 shares on X this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Just landed via Reddit:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Trending via Instagram:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Trending via Twitch:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Making waves on Discord:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Just shared via Twitch:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨