Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Breaking via X:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Trending via Pinterest:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just landed via Twitch:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Seen just now on X:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Trending via TikTok:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Seen just now on Discord:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
After all these years, looks like the chat app finally got a breather! 😂🤐📢

communication, decade, decades, exhaustion, humor, i, run, say, speech, things, time, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

0

6 months ago

humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong
If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

0

2 months ago

back, cutlery, face, humor, kitchen, know, reflection, self-image, someone, spoon, stare
Source??? Pattern recognition.

0

3 months ago

analysis, data, data analysis, humor, logic, pattern, pattern recognition, questioning, recognition, science, skepticism, source
My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, exhaustion, humor, i, relatable, sleep, superpower, tired, wake, wake up
I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

1

2 months ago

better, choices, decisions, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, memoir, mistakes, regret, self-awareness
Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

0

2 months ago

crack, dark, funny injury, glow, humor, humorous, humorous moment, i, injury, joke, just, knee, knee crack, light, light joke, loud, loud sound, moment, noise, physical, physical humor, sound, unexpected, unexpected noise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

51 shares on X this month:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Spotted on Discord:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Making waves on Instagram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Just landed via Threads:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨