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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Trending via Twitch:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Going viral on X:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Shared recently on Messenger:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Spotted on YouTube:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Witty quote about resilience with a humorous twist on life's challenges.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just remember they're probably going to explode now. 🍋💥😅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

16 shares on X this month:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Just shared via Telegram:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Shared recently on Slack:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Live now on Twitch:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Going bananas on Discord:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Just shared via Threads:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

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