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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Live now on Twitch:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Just landed via WeChat:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Making waves on Threads:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Going bananas on Twitch:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Going viral on Discord:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you’re on a first-name basis with all the delivery drivers, but your wallet just filed for divorce 😂🚚💸

budgeting, confusion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, need, personal, personal finance, save, saving, spending, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

0

2 months ago

act, behavior, birth, birth control, control, course, humor, men, relationships
“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

0

2 months ago

brother, do you, humor, i, irony, mad, politics, sister, statement
Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, chips, class, dancing, day, dip, grabby, humor, i, intro, myself, salsa, starving, weird
This meeting could have been a cave painting.

0

5 months ago

cave, cave painting, communication, humor, meeting, painting, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

0

2 months ago

anything, art, creativity, doing, doing nothing, form, getting, humor, laziness, nothing, relaxation, tired
When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

0

2 months ago

carrot, everything, humor, perspective, smell, smells, snowman, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Making waves on Threads:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Making waves on YouTube:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Spotted on Reddit:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Live now on Twitch:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨