Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Shared recently on Threads:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Trending via TikTok:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Breaking via Facebook:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Just landed via Telegram:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The government even made aliens boring.

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
"Rest in peace, word warrior—master of mundane meanings! 📝🤣🔍"

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

0

2 months ago

activity, e-scooter, fun, fun activity, funny situation, humor, perception, reaction, respect, situation, social, social perception, someone, unexpected
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

0

3 months ago

challenge, couple, driving, humor, parallel, parallel parking, parking, relationship, relationships, stress, test, tested, true, where
Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

0

2 months ago

cry, expression, humor, money, sentiment, tear, wish
Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

0

2 months ago

behind, every, eye, eye roll, eyes, great, humor, media, person, roll, rolling, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
So many people to disappoint, so little time.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, expectations, humor, irony, life, little, people, sarcasm, time
That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, dating, done, every, humor, humor quote, relationship, sarcasm, saving, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Are you a software update, because not now!

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Trending via Pinterest:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Live now on Pinterest:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Live now on Reddit:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨