Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Live now on TikTok:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Making waves on Twitch:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Live now on Twitch:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Spotted on WeChat:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yoda upgrading from VHS to 4K like… HDMI, you must. A crystal-clear view of the Force, it is! 📺✨ #UpgradeMasterYoda"

4K, character, culture, HDMI, humor, movie, pop, pop culture, seeing, technology, visual, Yoda

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

2 months ago

bathroom, dog, follow, humor, loyalty, misunderstanding, outside, pet, relationship
How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

2 months ago

absurd, cat, cats, crazy, dare, eve, humor, pets, say, wedding
Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

1 week ago

baby, cause, celebration, communication, creampie, daily, humor, norm, parents, social, social norm, socially, telling, trying, unacceptable
The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

2 months ago

advice, biology, chase, dating, egg, girl, humor, man, never, relationship, relationship advice, sperm, swim
Food gives you energy to nap more.

2 months ago

energy, food, humor, humor quote, nap, relaxation, rest
Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

2 months ago

days, downs, humor, life, perspective, table, toe, ups, ups and downs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

53 shares on Telegram this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

67 shares on X this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

62 shares on Discord this month:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

32 shares on X this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

99 shares on Slack this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Seen just now on Slack:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Spotted on Slack:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Trending via Messenger:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨