Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Trending via TikTok:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Making waves on Twitch:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Spotted on X:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs AI when my brain can project 4K images daydream-style? 🎨🧠✨

AI, creativity, even, generate, generation, humor, image, image generation, images, imagination, mind, need, want, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

0

2 months ago

activity, balls, confidence, golf, humor, i, lot, sport
Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

0

2 days ago

cigarette, cigarettes, flirt, girl, humor, i, joke, line, pickup, pickup line
Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

0

2 months ago

ball, date, food, humor, line, meat, pickup, pickup line, pun, spaghetti, want
Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

0

3 months ago

5th, 5th base, base, dating, describe, flirting, humor, i, kiss, me, only, romance, someone, tongue, tongue kiss
My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

0

2 months ago

bad, common, common sense, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, sense, thinking
I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

0

2 months ago

book, chapters, couple, creativity, humor, i, murder, mystery, only, plot, plot twist, sarcasm, twist, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

71 shares on X this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

64 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Trending via Messenger:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Trending via Instagram:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨