Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Trending via Threads:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Going viral on Slack:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Spotted on Twitch:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Freshly posted on X:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Spotted on Slack:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about prioritizing cozy mornings over work. Humorous and relatable text.

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Commentary:
"Sorry boss, can't make it to work today. My partner's cozy cuddles have activated maximum 'stay in bed' mode 😴🛌 #priorities"

able, call, comfort, cozy, morning, partner, should, warm, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

63 shares on Threads this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

69 shares on X this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Going viral on Reddit:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Just shared via Discord:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨