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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

God saw you do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Going bananas on X:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Just landed via Messenger:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When my closet turns into a mismatched puzzle, fashion chaos ensues! 👠👗🤷‍♀️

buy, fashion, humor, i, outfit, outfits, problem, shoe, shopping, style, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

1 month ago
amazing, correct, details, do it, even, haters, humor, i, irony, right, self-deprecation, small
One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

1 month ago
amazing, amazing thing, day, everyday, everyday life, expectation, food, goal, humor, lap, life, relatability, satisfaction, struggle, thing
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

4 months ago
doubt, easily, exercise, fitness, flexibility, humor, i, me, pose, right, self-doubt, whenever, yoga, yoga pose
I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

1 month ago
activity, adventure, build, coming, fun, fun activity, high, high seas, humor, invitation, pirate, sailing, seas, ship
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

2 months ago
advice, control, crazy, drive, humor, keys, life, life advice, people
You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

1 month ago
allowed, dog, early, early leave, home, humor, leave, lot, miss, missing, missing pet, pet, should, work, workplace, workplace humor

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Trending via Reddit:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

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Activity Log ✨

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

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My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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