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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Going viral on X:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Live now on X:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Just shared via Slack:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

1 week ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess the calendar didn't get the memo! 🗓️🤔 #TimeTravelSales

black, Black Friday, extension, Friday, humor, oh, sale, sarcasm, shopping, Tuesday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

3 months ago
activity, always, better, Friday, Friday night, fun, fun activity, going, going out, life, night, nightlife, Saturday, Saturday night, social, social life, weekend
My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

1 month ago
frustration, gift, holiday, humor, husband, i, marriage, me, pissed, prank, put, remote, tree, under
Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

1 month ago
adulting, asleep, baby, bottle, concerning, cute, humor, i, irony, sleep
Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

1 month ago
behavior, digital, digital mood, frustration, humor, i, internet, internet outage, minutes, mishap, mood, online, online behavior, online frustration, outage, said, sorry, tech, tech mishap, things
For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

1 month ago
attention, birthday, celebration, detail, everyone, humor, i, love, me, much, request, tell, want, why
I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

1 month ago
depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Just shared via Twitch:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Just shared via Facebook:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Trending via WeChat:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Making waves on Telegram:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

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Activity Log ✨

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

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Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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