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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Going viral on X:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Trending via Slack:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Trending via X:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Going viral on Threads:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

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A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, welcome to the edgier side of the internet – where memes wear black and cookies are sprinkled with a hint of existential crisis. 🕶️💻 Embrace the shadows of "The Darker Web," where the ones and zeros are as mysterious as your browsing history. Who needs sunshine when you have encrypted darkness? 🌑🕸️ #KeepingItCryptic

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I would like even faster food.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just landed via TikTok:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Spotted on WeChat:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Shared recently on X:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Just shared via Threads:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Broadcasted on X:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Breaking via YouTube:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Going viral on YouTube:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

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