Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Making waves on WeChat:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Just shared via YouTube:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll have to change my name to "Whole Oat Soy Almond Coconut Non-Dairy" 👩‍🌾🥛😂

accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

0

2 months ago

consequences, dark, dark humor, everyone, expectation, happiness, happy, humor, irony, push, stairs
My toxic trait is optimism.

0

1 month ago

humor, optimism, personality, personality trait, sarcasm, toxic, toxic trait, trait
Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

0

2 months ago

activity, family, family outing, fun, fun activity, irony, kids, outing, phones, planetarium, take, technology, watch, YouTube
If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, karate, know, money, pay, self-defense, stuff
It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

0

1 month ago

coke, craving, fridge, hard, humor, knowing, procrastination, sleep, soda, temptation
Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

0

1 month ago

cheetos, eating, exercise, fitness, guy, humor, indulgence, irony, me, motivation, Peloton, snack, yelling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

42 shares on X this month:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

39 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

60 shares on X this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Breaking via Twitch:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Just shared via Slack:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Trending via YouTube:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

My toxic trait is optimism.

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨