Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Trending via Pinterest:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Going viral on TikTok:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Making waves on Telegram:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Trending via Messenger:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Going viral on Discord:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Making waves on TikTok:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Going viral on Instagram:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh Sue, if only my fashion faux pas came with a user manual… 🤦‍♂️👚💼 #FashionistaDriver #NotSoForkful"

accident, accidentally, blue, blue shirt, forklift, funny situation, job, shirt, situation, stockroom, Sue, unexpected, unexpected job, Walmart

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

0

2 months ago

airline, choice, choices, entertainment, humor, i, in-flight, in-flight movie, movie, nostalgia, remember, travel, watch
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, logic, mess, problem-solving, stupidity
The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

0

3 days ago

best, confidence, dumbest, here, humor, intelligence, internet, never, online, thing
Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

0

2 months ago

arm, arms, clap, dead, dinosaur, fact, funny fact, humor, irony, people, short, short arm, T-Rex, think
The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

0

2 months ago

conspiracy, Epstein, Epstein file, figure, file, humor, joke, PDF, real, technology
I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

0

2 months ago

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

54 shares on Slack this month:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

20 shares on Discord this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

89 shares on X this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just shared via X:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Making waves on Discord:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Spreading quickly via X:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨