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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just shared via Threads:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Spotted on X:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Just landed via X:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

5 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hoping the alien overlords at least bring better WiFi! 🛸👾📶

alien, aliens, apocalypse, better, future, humor, ladybug, mutant, mutant ladybug, over, robot, robots, sci-fi, takeover

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

1 month ago
affection, compliment, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, liking, little, media, post, posts, social, social media
“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

5 months ago
humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong
A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

1 month ago
activity, always, etiquette, fun, fun activity, gentleman, humor, machine, neatness, shaking, vending, vending machine
I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

4 months ago
advice, directions, give, humor, i, navigation, people, sarcasm, wants
I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

1 month ago
authenticity, cashier, cashiers, check, counterfeit, counterfeit money, dollar, Dollar Tree, feel, frustration, handling, hate, humor, i, Karen, money, money handling, need, real, shopping, tree
Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

1 month ago
around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Going viral on X:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Spreading quickly via X:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Just landed via Instagram:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

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Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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