Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Live now on Reddit:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via WeChat:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Trending via Telegram:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Breaking via TikTok:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hoping the alien overlords at least bring better WiFi! 🛸👾📶

alien, aliens, apocalypse, better, future, humor, ladybug, mutant, mutant ladybug, over, robot, robots, sci-fi, takeover

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

46 shares on X this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

12 shares on Threads this month:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

64 shares on X this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

39 shares on X this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

56 shares on X this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Trending via Slack:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Just shared via X:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Making waves on Messenger:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Trending via Twitch:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Going viral on Threads:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨