Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Just shared via Discord:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Just landed via Facebook:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Just shared via Reddit:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Just shared via WeChat:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hoping the alien overlords at least bring better WiFi! 🛸👾📶

alien, aliens, apocalypse, better, future, humor, ladybug, mutant, mutant ladybug, over, robot, robots, sci-fi, takeover

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

0

4 months ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

0

2 months ago

common, eat, food, forget, humor, i, nothing, people
If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

0

2 months ago

having, head, health, humor, looking, me, mental, mental health, myself, self-reflection, self-talk, session, therapy, zoned, zoned out
It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

0

2 months ago

adult, adults, childhood, dire, growing, growing up, humor, i, intelligence, interesting, kid, learning, most, observation, sarcasm, situation, smart, think
“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

0

4 months ago

anxiety, creating, fluency, head, humor, imagination, overthinking, scenario, self-awareness, worst-case, worst-case scenario
Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

0

2 months ago

humor, life, nap, problem, relaxation, rest, solution, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

27 shares on X this month:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

96 shares on X this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Going viral on Discord:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Seen just now on Discord:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Just shared via Facebook:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Making waves on Twitch:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨