Author Archives: slickboy

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

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Embracing the solemn responsibility of binge-watching entire series without interruption—I'm essentially doing it for the kids! 🍿📺😂

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

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Why not both: as long as it pays my salary! 😂💾📊

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

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Wine: the only currency my mouth accepts 🍷💸😄

British people be like “YouChube.”

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When British folks say it, I'm just asking "What are they tubing?" 🎥🇬🇧😂

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

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Why text when you can just unleash your inner tracker instead? 🐾🎯🐻

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

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When your relationship goals are paperback deep and blanket warm 📚💘🛋️

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

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Sometimes you just gotta let us live our zombie chic lifestyle in peace 😴🧟‍♂️✨

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

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Life may not be funny, but my post is at least three giggles and a snort worthy 😂🤪 #ComedyGoals

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

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Looks like the elephant's been promoted to team mascot! 🐘🎉

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

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When life gives you meltdowns, demand a pizza with extra cheese 🍕🧀😂